Remembering Dadu

We were expecting it for a long time. But when the news came, they still felt completely unexpected. Reaching Pune, I saw her -- her face serene as I always remembered it. I wanted to shake her, like I did when I was a kid and she would play dead just to get to me. But I knew this time there would be no waking up with a smile, while I pouted. There would be no movement. She was lost to me -- forever.
Strangely, my mind went back to those long nights in the hospital room about 6 years ago when I had written about how I wanted her to stay on for just a little bit more. How I wanted God to give that frail body, which held a great spirit just some more time, just a few more years. I guess He was looking over my shoulder when I wrote that note. For not only did she hold on, but recovered from an illness, even if it was for some years.
My mind wandered to the times we had together as I kept vigil through the night. To the shared pastry I hid and got for her in hospital to celebrate her Birthday. To the smile that lit up her countenance every time I would come home -- making it feel like a homecoming in the true sense. It wandered to my days as a child, an adolescent and an adult where she had been a constant presence in my life. To the times when she would sit with me to watch the Grammies -- just to see her favourites -- MJ and Tina Turner perform.
My mind went back to the times she would think I'm fast asleep and would touch my eyes, my face just to feel her precious granddaughter breathing next to her.
It went back to the times when she made a face when I placed a plate of pasta in front of her, only to fall in love with the dish once she tasted it.
I thought of the two of us making smart comments whenever Mum and Dad had an argument. I went back to the time we went for a drive in the car we'd just bought -- just the two of us.
Now looking at that body that had lost my dadu's, I felt it would be tough not to miss her. For Dadu had always told me that you can't miss a person who's always in your thoughts, your memories -- they live on there forever and ever.
And yet, I'll miss my dadu and I'll never get over missing that special homecoming smile reserved just for me.
May you rest in peace dadu. I'll love you today and forever.